


Converting Lucifer

by GlitchyGrin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Lucifer, Crack Fic, Kinda, M/M, Someone tries to convert Lucifer, There is this Michael guy, but he isnt an archangel, converting, he was named after the archangel, it doesnt work though, the name is really just to piss Lucifer off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-22 10:41:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9604454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitchyGrin/pseuds/GlitchyGrin
Summary: A religious man tries to convert Lucifer from his "satanic ways"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [BrieflyMaximumPrincess](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BrieflyMaximumPrincess/pseuds/BrieflyMaximumPrincess) for beta-ing my work! (You guys should totally check out their stories, they are awesome)

A man in a fancy-looking suit approached, warily, the door to a house . He climbed the steps and paused with his finger hovering over the doorbell, he considered whether he really wanted to do this.

So many years ago this man had dedicated his life to the Lord; and, in addition, he devoted himself to making others see his ways as well.

And a few hours ago, he had received a call from a well known friend about their obnoxious neighbors, he spoke of devil worship and sin residing within this one household. He automatically offered to try to convert the inhabitants of the house, this was his chance to prove to the Lord he was truly worthy of His attention; but, despite how confident he felt, the man began second guessing himself now that he was right up at the door.

He glanced at his friend’s house and was given two thumbs up, there was no backing down now. With a deep breath, the doorbell was rung. He observed the windows that would give someone in the house a clear view of whoever was standing at the door, and caught a glimpse of someone moving the curtain back into place.

No doubt that there was someone in the house. He rang the doorbell again and knocked three times, hard and sure.

There was shuffling behind the door and a muffled exchange of words between two different voices. Two voices meant two people. And, all of a sudden, the religious man felt nervous once more, he should have brought his friend along with him. But, no, this was his destiny, and he intended on not backing down.

After a few more seconds of shuffling, the man considered knocking again, but the door opened to reveal two, fairly tall, men.

One was blond, with piercing blue eyes that scared the man even if the blond did not intend to. The other one, a brunet with longer hair than some would consider average. He was even taller than the blond, but his eyes looked as though they changed color with the light and they held a kind, but hard, look in them.

“Hello,” The taller one said “I’m sorry, but my boyfriend doesn’t like soliciting all that much, make this quick.”

“Well… I’m not selling anything but I was wondering if you two had a moment to discuss the Lord and His love for all.” As he responded, the religious man couldn’t keep his eyes off of the numerous amount of tattoos the blond had on his body, most depicted- as his friend had said- very satanic looking sigils.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” The blond asked, leaning in as if he had genuinely not heard what the other had said.

“I’m sorry, that was very rude of me, no? I should introduce myself, I’m Michael. You know named after the archangel. And I was curious if you have a moment to talk about our Lord,” This, Michael character said “And you are...?”

“Sam,” The brunet said, adding “And this is my boyfriend Lucif-- I mean Luke.”

“No, it’s actually Lucifer.” The blond corrected.

Michael almost took a step back, “Okay, Sam and… Luke, would you like to discuss...”

Lucifer cut off the man by saying “It’s Lucifer, I’m being serious.”

Swallowing hard, Michael attempted to repeat the sentence he had said almost three times already “Do you have time to talk about our--”

“‘Our Lord’? Is that what you are going to say? Then stop, he isn’t my lord or whatever. He’s a deadbeat.” Lucifer cut him off again, rushing his words out in a slightly angry tone.

“Sir, I am not sure what kind of terrible events must have befallen you that you are angry at Him, but it is all with purpose; in time it will all be explained, you just need to be faithful.” Michael was proud of his little speech, he usually didn’t even get this far with people.

But, when Lucifer grabbed him by the front of his shirt he started to think that maybe this wasn’t God’s plan after all, perhaps it was a corrupted plan devised by the devil himself- he didn’t even know half of it.

“Why, don’t you come inside and we can have a chat?” Lucifer suggested, his voice was like venom and made Michael shrink.

“Perhaps another day? I’m quite busy.”

“No, no. Come in Michael, and I will explain a few things to you.” Lucifer insisted in an obviously-forced sweet voice.

Michael was pulled into the house by his shirt, he felt suffocated at that time; but the feeling doubled when he saw the decor of the inside of the house.

The satanic cross was painted onto the wall in front of the door, and small sigils that resembled the one’s on Lucifer were painted around it. When he looked down, Michael noticed the devil’s trap underneathe him and he felt dizzy.

“Who are you people?”

“I thought we already went over this, I’m Lucifer- that is my boyfriend Sam. I am, as you humans say _‘the Devil’_.” Lucifer hissed out the final two words like they burned his tongue, “And Sam is my very own piece of eye candy.”

Sam elbowed Lucifer at his words, and gave an apologetic look to Michael. The look was only seen for a second before Michael was dragged into an eerily normal looking kitchen and shoved into a seat.

“Please, allow me to help you find peace. No matter what you may have heard growing up, you are not The Adversary. There must be some way for you to repent for your sins, no matter what they may be.”

Lucifer growled at the back of his throat, it was clear that this idiot did not understand that he was really Lucifer, the actual archangel who was cast out of Heaven, the inventor of free will and “father of evil” as many said.

At this point, Sam was backing out of the room slowly with his hands up; he was smart enough, and wise enough, to know that it may be best for the religious man to stop talking, but he was smart enough to also know that there was no helping him now.

“Listen to me.” Lucifer leaned up and was nearly nose to nose with the man “I don’t know, nor do I care where you got this ludicrous idea that _God_ -” there was another sneer of a name when he mentioned his father “-gives two hoots whether you convert no one, or everyone. Or why you think that I am not one of the angels created by that bum; but, I can tell you that he doesn’t care about your faith, he doesn’t care what you do, and he most definitely does not care about you.”

Michael opened his mouth, he intended on disagreeing, but Lucifer was not done.

“I’m sure that you don’t even know that he is M.I.A, missing, gone. He isn’t even waiting for you in Heaven, and only he knows whether or not he even listens to prayers anymore. Actually, I know that too, so let me answer that for you- he doesn’t”. Lucifer didn’t even take a breath before he continued, subconsciously noting Sam inching back into the room, “So, _Michael_ \- if that is even your real name- you can take your _‘faith’_ and _shove it up your-_ ”

A hand slapped over his mouth “You should leave,” Sam said loudly, and even though it was worded as a suggestion, it was obviously a demand.

And Michael whose heart was pumping twice it’s normal speed, didn’t argue; he got up and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him, without so much as glancing back.

“That was a little much.” Sam took his hand off of Lucifer’s mouth

The archangel’s face was very red, he was breathing deeply “You think so?”

Sam walked to one of the windows in their house and looked outside, the religious man was nowhere in sight- he must have ran very quickly to get away from the house that fast. “Definitely.” He nodded.

Lucifer shrugged “But, as you often say, ‘look at the bright side’ he probably won’t be coming back, and he’ll probably be telling others about this and they won’t try either!”

“Or they’ll come over thinking they are better with persuasion than that guy.”

Lucifer groaned angrily at the thought and grumbled “They better not” before going to the wall and pulling off the wallpaper they kept in front of the door to make people, like that Michael guy, feel terrified when they entered the house.

And it would be safe to say that Michael never even walked down that street after that encounter.

**Author's Note:**

> [ Don't Forget To Check Out My Tumblr Here!](http://glitchygrin.tumblr.com)
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